If you know me, you know I am a huge mental health advocate. I mean, I literally have over 130 episodes of my podcast discussing it. But the more I tried to "do the work" in my own life, the more I realized- I had no idea how to take care of myself. Like, reallyyyyy take care of myself. Boundaries? yeah I can tell you all day to honor yours- yet I didn't have many of my own in place. And the boundaries I did have in place- I didn't honor them. Instead I made excuses, I people-pleased, I bargained with my boundaries. Self-care? Yeah, I did the face masks, I went on the walks, I went to bed early to get extra rest. But, check in with myself? Critcally think about where my triggers stemmed from? Parented myself?! Not a chance lol. It's not because I didn't want to. I just didn't know I HAD to.
Many of us don’t know how. We’re only taught to care for others—think about how others feel, how they would react, and what they need. We’re rarely taught how to parent ourselves, regulate our emotions, or breathe life into our own spirits.
We learn to be mindful of others, to choose our words carefully, and to support those we care about. But we don’t apply the same care to ourselves. If a friend needed help, we’d offer it. If they were upset, we’d comfort them. We need to treat ourselves with the same compassion. When we neglect self-care, we’re not good for anyone else. Yes, serving others is important, but not at the expense of losing ourselves.
Often, we don’t even check in with ourselves. We don’t acknowledge how we’re feeling or why. We avoid negative emotions, always rushing to the next thing: "I don’t have time for this," "I don’t want to think about this," "This scares me," "This hurts," "This makes me cry," "This makes me sad," "This makes me feel stuck," "This frustrates me," "This confuses me." It's a constant avoidance of negative feelings. But it’s okay to feel those things. Sit with them, think about them, process them, pray about them. Do whatever you need to do—but please, don't ignore them.
Avoiding negative emotions is like trying to ignore a leaky roof. You can put buckets under the drips and hope it stops raining, but unless you fix the roof, the leaks will keep coming back and might even cause more damage over time.
And as someone who has avoided negative emotions as if my life depended on it (I actually believed it did) I now realize all of the harm I was doing to myself. I literally developed stomach issues from it (story for another blog post.) That’s why I’m so conscious now about taking care of myself, even if I don’t always get it right. Mental health is something I want to inspire people to take seriously. My goal with this blog is to propel you to become the best version of yourself. I want to help you figure out what works for you, and identify what you still need to work on. We all deserve that level of care.
Let me wrap this up with this: taking care of our mental health isn't just about being able to help others—it’s about honoring ourselves. It's about creating a life where we can thrive, not just survive. By making self-care a priority, we become better friends, partners, and family members. Most importantly, we become better for ourselves.
Consider these questions as you reflect on your own mental health journey:
- How do you currently take care of yourself emotionally and mentally?
- What self-care practices have you found effective, and which ones do you struggle with?
- How often do you check in with your feelings and allow yourself to process them?
- What steps can you take to make self-care a consistent part of your routine?
- How can you begin to treat yourself with the same compassion you offer to others?
Sending you peace and love always <3
-Natalie
