Consider The Source

Fix Me:

 We consume so much information on social media.  Everyone is an "expert" on something.  But how many of us actually stop to think about whether or not we can trust the information we're receiving? Do you remember being assigned to write a paper in school?  Teachers would always remind us to make sure our sources were credible.  We were taught to *consider the source*—to ensure the information we used was reputable and trustworthy.  Now, as adults, I think that advice applies even more in our personal lives. In my early 20s, when someone said something critical, I’d internalize it. I’d let their words dictate how I saw myself, and I’d try to change myself just to fit into the mold of what I thought they wanted. Looking back, I realize that this comes from not truly knowing myself or having confidence in my own identity. At 32 years old, ain’t no way ima let someone tell me who I am—especially if they haven’t witnessed the work I’ve done to grow and change. Some people enjoy holding you prisoner to your past mistakes. They refuse to see the person you’ve become because they’re stuck on who you used to be. When people try to project their limited view onto me, I ask myself, “Does this person have the credibility to speak on who I am? I’ve learned to take feedback only from those who genuinely care about me.  That’s the difference between a source that’s healthy and loving versus one that’s rooted in negativity. 

I’m Healed:

if you want to become better at considering the source i believe you need to develop a strong understanding of who you are and who you want to be.

Try this:

 1. Strengthen Your Relationship with Yourself and God:

For me, this was foundational. (If you don’t believe in God, think of it as strengthening your connection with a higher power or the universe.) I believe that God lives within me, and that means I need to show reverence to myself. When I honor my commitments, care for my body, and maintain healthy relationships, I’m not just showing respect to myself—I’m honoring God. This means going to the gym, watching what I eat, getting enough sleep, and making sure the relationships in my life are positive and reciprocal. If someone in my life isn’t meeting me halfway, that’s not a relationship I need to continue investing in. Being strong enough to let go of what no longer serves me has allowed me to create space for better, healthier energy.

2. BSFFR About Who You Want to Be:

Think about your highest self. What does that version of you look like? How do they dress? What do they eat? How do they treat themselves and others? What kind of people do they surround themselves with?
Get specific. Would your highest self workout regularly? Would they spend weekends binge-watching TV, or would they be out creating, building, and connecting? Would they stay in a toxic relationship, or would they have the strength to walk away? How do they manage their finances? What books or podcasts do they consume? The more detailed you get, the clearer the path becomes to becoming that person.

Once you’ve envisioned your highest self, start showing up as them every day. You won’t transform overnight, but it’s those small, consistent habits that create the biggest change over time. Maybe it’s cutting out that friend who drains your energy or stopping a destructive weekend habit. Maybe it’s as simple as starting your day with a  prayer, reading a few pages of a book, or working out. 

Over time, these small steps add up. Months or even a year later, you’ll look back and see how drastically your life has improved because of the intentional choices you’ve made. You’ll realize that the negativity people tried to project onto you no longer has any weight. You’ve done the work, and no one can take that away from you.

When you truly know who you are and are committed to becoming the best version of yourself, no one else can tell you who you should be. Their words won’t stick because you’ll be rooted in your own truth. You’ll know, without a doubt, that you’re on the right path.

So next time someone tries to tell you about yourself, remember: *Consider the source.* Do they truly know you? Have they done the work within themselves? Are they coming from a place of love, or are they projecting their insecurities onto you? And most importantly, are they a source worth listening to?

Your highest self already knows the answer.